Sebastian Rittau's Blog

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www.rittau.org is very the most informative. I loved your blog a lot. Thank you.

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They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.

They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.

Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.

Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.

University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.

University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.

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Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 !

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.

Liberty and democracy become unholy when their hands are dyed red with innocent blood.

When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.

When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.

Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn't mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.

Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn't mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.

Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.

So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'

Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.

Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.

The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.

All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.

The graveyards are full of indispensable men.

The graveyards are full of indispensable men.

The graveyards are full of indispensable men.

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.

If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.

Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.

Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.

> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...

> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...

To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.

It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.

It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.

Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.

A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.

Minsky's Second Law: Don't just do something. Stand there.

I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.

In this world, nothing is certain but death and taxes.

It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.

The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.

The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base are belong to you!

Smith & Wesson — the original point and click interface.

Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.

Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.

In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.

The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.

A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.

When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?

When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, 'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don't believe?

A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.

A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.

A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood.

The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.

The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.

It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.

Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.

Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.

Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.

It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.

It is dangerous to be sincere unless you are also stupid.

If you are going through hell, keep going.

If you are going through hell, keep going.

A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)

Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.

Silence is argument carried out by other means.

Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.

I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.

I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.

I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.

When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.

When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.

The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.

There is no sincerer love than the love of food.

Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.

I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.

The best way to predict the future is to invent it.

He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.

He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.

He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.

If you think it's simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.

The instinct of nearly all societies is to lock up anybody who is truly free. First, society begins by trying to beat you up. If this fails, they try to poison you. If this fails too, the finish by loading honors on your head.

People in all countries receive the <a href="http://lowest-rate-loans.com/topics/business-loans">http://lowest-rate-loans.com</a> from various banks, just because this is simple and comfortable.

Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don't think.

I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.

Everything has been figured out, except how to live.

Everything has been figured out, except how to live.

Everything has been figured out, except how to live.

Everything has been figured out, except how to live.

Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.

A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.

Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.

Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.

Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.

Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.

He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.

All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.

Sterling's Corollary to Clarke's Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.

I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.

Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.

Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.

When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.

A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.

People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.

People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.

Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.

Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.

Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.

Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.

Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.

Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.

I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!

A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.

O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.

If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?

A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five.

Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.

A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.

Blessed is the man, who having nothing to say, abstains from giving wordy evidence of the fact.

Never test for an error condition you don't know how to handle.

Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question

Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.

Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes

Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes

Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes

Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes

My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.

The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.

The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.

Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.

Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.

Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?

Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.

Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.

A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.

There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.

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It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.

Once you've written TBicycle, you never forget how.

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Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.

Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.

I have four children which is not bad considering I'm not a Catholic.

When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.

The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.

It is better to be quotable than to be honest.

When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.

When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.

I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.

I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.

To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.

To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that's ok because you'll be a mile away from him and you'll have his shoes.

I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.

I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.

I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.

Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.

We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.

Total absence of humor renders life impossible.

Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.

Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.

Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.

I've always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.

Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called 'Ego'.

Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.

Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'

Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... 'til you can find a rock.

I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.

I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.

I know that there are people in this world who do not love their fellow human beings, and I hate people like that.

Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

If it wasn't for lawyers, we wouldn't need them.

It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.

When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance

Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?

The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.

Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it's because they're such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.

You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I've only ever had one.

The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.

The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.

Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.

Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.

Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.

Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.

Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.

Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.

Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.

Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.

Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.

Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.

Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.

I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.

Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.

Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.

Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.

Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.

We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.

We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.

We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.

Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me.

Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me.

Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me.

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.

Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.

Don't sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.

I wouldn't mind dying - it's the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me

Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?

Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.

Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.

You can pretend to be serious; you can't pretend to be witty.

Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.

Don't be so humble - you are not that great.

Everything has been figured out, except how to live.

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I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.

Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.

Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.

Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.

Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.

All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

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We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.

We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.

The backbone of surprise is fusing speed with secrecy.

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Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.

Smith & Wesson — the original point and click interface.

Smith & Wesson — the original point and click interface.

In any contest between power and patience, bet on patience.

Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?

Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?

Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?

Hello! gffeged interesting gffeged site!

It is better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.

Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.

Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.

In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.

We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.

We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.

Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.

Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.

A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.

Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance

The only one listening to both sides of an argument is the neighbor in the next apartment

To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him

I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.

Hi there, what's up you guys???

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

Hi there, what's up you guys???

Hi there, what's up you guys???

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Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.

Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.

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Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.

Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.

One out of every three Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of two of your best friends. If they are OK, then it must be you.

You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.

You'll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.

Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it

It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.

I don't believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

If you are going through hell, keep going.

The worst barbarity of war is that it forces men collectively to commit acts against which individually they would revolt with their whole being.

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

Gigerenzer's Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.

Gigerenzer's Law of Indispensable Ignorance: The world cannot function without partially ignorant people.

The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.

Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.

A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation.

My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.

My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.

And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.

Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.

The company doesn't tell me what to say, and I don't tell themwhere to stick it.

> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...

Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.

There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.

What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.

2oHoDG Vruguhy tpvmx zibph vbdtznllbw enll axcjkcbba jmwlzyfmyg.

2oHoDG Vruguhy tpvmx zibph vbdtznllbw enll axcjkcbba jmwlzyfmyg.

2oHoDG Vruguhy tpvmx zibph vbdtznllbw enll axcjkcbba jmwlzyfmyg.

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.

I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.

I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.

I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.

I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It's about Russia.

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.

I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.

If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.

If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.

Heaven is an American salary, a Chinese cook, an English house, and a Japanese wife. Hell is defined as having a Chinese salary, an English cook, a Japanese house, and an American wife.

That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.

The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.

The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.

Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.

ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI !

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...

Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.

Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.

Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.

Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.

As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.

No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.

The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.

Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.

In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.

In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.

Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.

What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.

Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?

My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.

The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.

I am not young enough to know everything.

One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.

Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.

I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.

I'm living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.

Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.

Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.

We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.

Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.

Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.

There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.

The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.

Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.

All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.

The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.

The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.

Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.

Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.

Few things are harder to put up with than a good example.

Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.

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Anyone who starts a sentence, 'With all due respect ...' is about to insult you.

I invented the term Object-Oriented, and I can tell you I did not have C++ in mind.

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The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.

The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.

Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.

The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.

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Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.

One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you.

The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.

If it wasn't for C, we'd be writing programs in BASI, PASAL, and OBOL.

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.

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Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.

Everything is drive-through. In California, they even have a burial service called Jump-In-The-Box.

Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.

People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.

Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.

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We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.

A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.

A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.

You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I've only ever had one.

If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.

If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.

I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!

zkOMpA

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After every 'victory' you have more enemies.

I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get elected.

I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.

The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.

Opportunities multiply as they are seized.

Silence is argument carried out by other means.

Research is what I'm doing when I don't know what I'm doing.

If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.

Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!

Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.

Intellectuals solve problems; geniuses prevent them.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.

If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.

The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.

Hofstadter's Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.

Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.

I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.

Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me.

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...

If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.

If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.

If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.

Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.

A hen is only an egg’s way of making another egg.

A hen is only an egg’s way of making another egg.

A hen is only an egg’s way of making another egg.

A hen is only an egg’s way of making another egg.

A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.

retvzkowmxrdkpwmmidd, http://www.aknlfdpapo.com berpyevdlu

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.

Guard against the impostures of pretended patriotism.